*sung to the tune of "All I want for Christmas is you"

I don’t want a lot for Christmas;
There is just one thing I need.
I don’t care about the rivers
Or bad water quality.
With me as leader of the land,
I’ll make your wishes my command.
Help my team come through!
All I want for Christmas is you, Winnie!

I don’t want a lot for Christmas –
There’s just one thing on my mind.
Not one hundred thousand houses
To fix Auckland’s undersupply.
I don’t need to let those migrants
Keep arriving on our shores.
Shut the borders! I don’t care if
That keeps out old Santa Claus.

I just want your charming grin
To help my party get back in.
Make my wish come true!
All I want for Christmas is you (you, Winnie)!

Oh, I won’t ask for much this Christmas –
I won’t even wish for roads.
Build your rail to the airport
To improve the traffic flow.
I won’t make a list to send to
Shane Jones, up in Whāngārei,
Of everything I’d buy if he’d just
Send a billion bucks my way.

‘Cos I just want your party’s backing;
My party vote’s a little lacking.
What more can I do?
Winnie, all I want for Christmas is you!

Oh, all the baubles are shining
So brightly over us,
And the sounds of oldies’ and their
Gold cards fill the bus.
But still no one is knowing
Which way this government’s going.
Santa, won’t you bring me the one I really need?
Won’t you please bring my Winnie to me?

Oh, I don’t want a lot for Christmas –
Reserve Bank rules I’ll change for you.
I don’t care how much more super
You took than you’re entitled to.

You asked us if we’d had enough –
I hope it wasn’t all a bluff.
Make my wish come true!
Winnie, all I want for Christmas is youuuu!

You, Winnie!